So I’m not sad anymore. For the hypothetical lonely soul who reads this and who therefore reads my previous ramblings, I’m not sad anymore. I’m tired, a little worse for wear but not sad. To be honest the former may be because I’m writing this in bed at half 12. Although that’s just a maybe.
I feel like certain things have changed in my life this year. Certain mentalities, values, certain rules which I used to live my life by have all begun to take a slight shift. Like that odd moment when you catch your reflection in a wobbly looking mirror. You know it’s you, but it doesn’t quite look right.
Maybe this is how it feels to get older. I’m not sure if I like that or not.
I sat in an office today as two, yes two, seperate birthday cakes (and subsequent celebrations) appeared. Now neither of these two nameless blobs (not because they’re dull but because I respect anonymity) are older than 28. Both young. Both charasmatic and fun. Yet both people that the rest of the world would confidently say is an adult.
Personally, I can’t help but feel a little curious about that. Is that fair? Growing up, I always felt that you could either be fun OR be an adult, not both! If you could do that, where have all the grey suited, straight laced buzzkills of the world come from? If you had the choice, wouldn’t you be a fun adult? Or then again maybe I’m just tired. (I’m definitely tired, writing this on my phone means that only the sentence I’ve written shows on the screen. This therefore results in my forgetting what I have just written because 1. I’m tired and 2. If you’re not getting the fact that I’m tired I would like to refer you to point 1.)
Now the sane among you reading this, yes dear reader I know that’s you (lying on your front browsing through your phone p.s aren’t I using brackets a lot today) will question why I just don’t go to sleep. Well, the answer is simple. Sometimes you just need to write something down. Not exactly groundbreaking but I made no promises. God bless you for sticking to the end on this one. It can’t have been easy. Even I don’t know what happened here..